Army Brat Life

In 2012 there was a flood at my parents home in Louisiana, where a lot of my belongings were water damaged. Last week while I was home I started organizing more of the storage containers in my room. I found some souvenirs along with 3 letters that were written back in 2003 to my father and uncle who were deployed in Iraq. It bought back a lot of memories, and I started thinking about who I was then, and who I have become now.

Looking at these letters instantly bought back tears I couldn’t fight. These little souvenirs have shaped some part of my identity, and play a large roll in the anxiety I continue to carry from being that ten-year old girl. I can still see that little girl who can’t stand to watch the news because of the fear to recognize a name on the screen. There are many untold stories that I am just now learning to remove the shield away from. One thing that still haunts me even now being almost 23 is the recurring dreams about terror.

Now that there had been attacks in Paris this past week, it’s bringing back up the dreams I started to have when I was younger. That is the reason why I can’t watch the news, as much as it is supposed to keep you informed it keeps me scared because I feel like they only tell you the negative things. It makes me nervous to think that my friends now will have to go to another place to fight. I have always been that girl, no matter how old I get, I can’t run from the fears I’ve developed from being a Brat, and that’s the scariest part. While I am happy I found my letters, I wasn’t expecting them to bring so much worry back into my mind.